Kari Jobe Fever (The Beauty of Heartbreak)

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“Steady My Heart”

Wish it could be easy
Why is life so messy
Why is pain a part of us
There are days I feel like
Nothing ever goes right
Sometimes it just hurts so much
But You’re here
You’re real
I know I can trust You
Even when it hurts
Even when it’s hard
Even when it all just falls apart
I will run to You
Cause I know that You are
Lover of my soul
Healer of my scars
You steady my heart [x2]

I’m not gonna worry
I know that You got me
Right inside the palm of your hand
Each and every moment
What’s good and what gets broken
Happens just the way that You plan

And I will run to You
You’re my refuge in Your arms
And I will sing to You
Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart [x2]

This sweet little song has a story. A friend was praying and fasting and this song was her mantra for four days.  So she posted it to Facebook, where my daughter played it, loved it, and began playing it over and over as well.  I listened to it, but found her voice a bit too er..desperate? Whiney?  But I still thought it was sweet.  
Then it happened: the buildup of feeling “off” for a few days culminating in a time of prayer.  For me, this means a hot bath and some worship music.  I felt the guarded stance vanishing  almost immediately.   Refreshed,  I felt I should hear that little Kari Jobe song once more.   And this time the tears burst forth. Wow. What a beautiful song (see link “Kari Jobe”).
I spend a lot of time trying to celebrate the good in my life. I try to keep my heart focused on happy thoughts, and never give in to despair, or discouragement.  But the most beautiful revelation came to me as I listened to this song,  blubbering  all the while.  It is the pain as well as the joy that we are to rejoice in!   At times I fear that the pain will overwhelm and cause me to doubt myself and my God, and certainly my ability to hear and follow God!  But once again I was reminded that the stuff that hurts is not all bad.  In fact, sometimes it is a sign that things are moving along just right, as with childbirth. 
Once again, the contrast that is life.  Events of the past year and a half have been so completely wonderful and utterly painful that I have had a death grip on the handle of the roller coaster.  But when has following your heart been easy?  I think back to joining the military, basic training, choosing to work on the cancer ward when I could have picked any ward in the hospital,  jumping out of an airplane,  giving birth again and again, unschooling, and all sorts of life lived, half of which is painful.  So cry your tears, and feel your pain, and let it do you good to know that …
“Each and every moment
       What’s good and what gets broken 
           Happens just the way that you plan”

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